Strap it on when appropriate

Stop me if you've heard this one.

Two bears meet up at Yukon River. One bear is from the north side, and the other south. The northern bear is fat and happy, the southern bear is skinny and hungry.

The southern bear asks the northern bear his secret. "Well," says the northern bear, "What you gotta do is find yourself a trucker on the side of the road. When he's got his back to you, you startle him, and while he's standing there in shock, you take him out!"

The southern bear thinks about this, and goes down the Dalton, waiting for a stranded trucker to present himself.

About two months later, the two bears meet back up again at the Yukon River. The northern bear is still fat and happy, and the southern bear is still skinny and grumpy.

"What's wrong?" the northern bear asked.

"Well," the southern bear explained, "I did exactly as you told me. I found a stranded trucker, waited for him to turn his back on me, went up and roared, and I mean REALLY scared the crap out of him, killed him and ate him. But he just wasn't as filling as I thought."

"Well that's your problem." Said the northern bear. "When you scare the crap out of a trucker, there ain't nothing left!"

-As told by T-Rex, the funniest trucker I know.

Maxwell Crabb